Honation (tm), The Day I Became A Vicious Ho

[Critter]

I can remember it clearly. I was gathering all of my employment forms from every where I had worked so that I could do my tax return. Then, I just happened to notice that I had several employment statements, not just several but eleven employment tax statements. I had worked for eleven employers that year in addition to having two businesses of my own.

It was then that I like went through this transformation; sorta like that guy in American Werewolf in London. Only, instead of growing hair and turning to a wolf, I grew arrogant and vicious and turned into a Ho.

a Ho is defined as someone with multiple sources of income.

It occurred to me that with eleven employers, I didn't have to be nice to anyone of them. I could actually tell five employers to go to hell (or, my preference "KISS MY BLACK ASS) and still have six other employers to do with as I wished. I could tell that psychotic bitch at Employer 6 that, in fact, she was a psychotic bitch. I could walk into Employer 10 and, if anyone looked at me the wrong way, I could say "Later Aholes". I was like liberated.

Like Martin Luther King, I too had a dream. Only instead of seeing all of mankind together in love and harmony, I saw the world of transnational corporations as rich bitches that God put on the earth so that I could screw them for fun and profit.

Now when someone threatens to call my employer or to get me fired, I just laugh and give them Employer 7's telephone number. Now, I have no fear of photos of me naked in Central Park ending up on the internet. What do I care, I have eleven employers, I'm like invincible.

[Critter]

That Man Don't Love Yo aasss

Na I could see if the man was telling your aasss that he might marry yo aasss one day or something, but the man told you from the git that he wasn’t gon marry you. The man done told your aasss from the start that your sheat could be over “at any time for any reason”, and still your dumb aasss is lying around there watching Oprah like you is set for life.

You betta git your aasss out there and find some kinda fahking skill or something. You betta find some way to take care of yourself by your damn self, cause that situation you got is temporary. Before you know it, your aasss is gon be alone with rent bill, and a phone bill, and a car bill and a weave bill and that man will be out there with some other beauch who is younger than you is and who’s got a tighter box than you got.

And don’t be putting your money in with that man’s money. You betta git your aasss your own bank account and one of them financial advisors and keep your sheat separated from that man’s sheat. Na what you thinks gon happen if that man loses all of his sheat and your money is tired up in there with that man’s sheat? You gon lose all your money too, that’s what’s gon happen.

Git off your aasss and git some skills and start planning for the day when your aasss is gonna be on the street, cause I’m telling you beauch, that man don’t love your aasss.

[Critter]

The Politics of Ho-ing

In a conventional at-will master/servant relationship (what most aholes call "employment"), the employer holds all of the cards. The Courts generally will uphold the employer's view of your qualifications and job performance and will uphold the employer's right to fire you whenever it wants for whatever reason it wants (it is also almost law that you CAN'T quit your PERM job if your employer decides that he wants to fire you). But ...

When you are a HO and you have multiple employers, thangs are different.

For example, let say ahole employer "A" decides that you are not qualified to turn oxygen into carbon dioxide and fires you. Well, since you have more than one employer and are doing the same work for several different companies concurrently, the Courts may find that ahole employer "A" is the one with the problem.

Also, when you have several employers and one decides that it will decide if you are or are not qualified, you have legal grounds for suing ahole Employer "A" for interfering with your contractual relationships with your other employers. By ahole employer "A" claiming that you are not qualified, ahole employer "A" is interfering with your other contracts and your ability to engage in the business of contracting with others.

Most importantly, if you have multiple employers it is unlikely that any one of them can prevent you from collecting unemployment, since you should qualify for unemployment without any one of the employer's wages if you worked concurrently for two or more employers

In short, the more employers you have, the more stable your life will be and the better chance you will have of destroying the life of one of your supervisors if he/she makes the mistake of trying to fahk with your life.

[Critter]

On Having Only One Idiot fahker Employer

In New York City, temp agencies can't logistically be the enemy because there are just too many of them.

The typical horror stories that you read on the net from temps about temp agencies most likely are from temps in little towns with ten or twenty temp agencies. These stories just don't apply to New York City where there are more than one thousand temp agencies.

The real enemy (in NYC anyway) is your perm employer, if you only have one employer.

If you only have one employer, your entire existence on the planet is at the mercy of that one idiot *ucker employer. If you have ever had some idiot *ucker perm employer go after you, you then know what a salvation temp agencies are.

I had an idiot *ucker perm employer go after me once with this cookie-cutter legal strategy employers generally use against former employees. This idiot *ucker perm employer found out the hard way that it was only one of 5 employers that I had concurrently and that I could actually do far more damage to them than they could do to me.

There are some rules of law that are not written down anywhere but which are sealed in stone if you have only one employer. These are:

1. Your idiot *ucker perm employers will be able to play games with your life forever. No matter where you go in life or what you do, your prior idiot *ucker perm employers will have a say in whether you get what you want or not.

2. You can't quit a perm job if your idiot *ucker perm employer wants to fire you.

3. The Courts view YOU the employee as the enemy and the poor idiot *ucker perm employer as the victim who must be protected from you.

4. If right now, you only have one employer you are legally a *ucking idiot. When you go back to work, take a good long hard look at your supervisor, because if you only have one employer, your supervisor is GOD, your supervisor can decide if you live or die and your supervisor can decide what you deserve to have and what you don't deserve to have.


The fact that we live in New York City and there are so many temp agencies in New York City (and so much temp work available in New York City) means that we as New Yorkers at least have a chance to protect ourselves from the horror of having only one idiot *ucker perm employer.