While everyone knows by now that Dead beauch died of breast cancer two years ago, what is not widely known is that I actually killed the beauch. Let me explain …

I was temping at this famous cancer hospital,

(doing some database work, good rate but like it was like a fahking hospital you know, why the fahk am I working in a fahking hospital?)

I was temping at this famous cancer hospital when what should come across my desk but Dead beauch's application to be part of a clinical trial for a new cancer drug

(of course the beauch wasn't Dead beauch then because she was still alive, so maybe I should refer to the beauch as Soon To Be Dead beauch or maybe Dead beauch To Be, or maybe In The Process of Dying beauch, or maybe …I'm digressing aren't I, I can feel myself digressing, anyway ..)

I'm temping at this hospital and I now have Dead beauch's application to be part of a clinical trial for a new cancer treatment drug and I am immediately propelled into this Dali Lama (which is like French for dilemma)

Two competing and polar opposite entities appear on my shoulders. On my left shoulder is this like Deity of Evil who proceeds to yell at me that I should lose Dead beauch's application out of sheer evilness. While at the same time,

On my right shoulder appears this Deity of Viciousness who screams that I should lose Dead beauch's application out of sheer viciousness. As I said, two polar opposite and competing interests.

I am now engulfed in this like swirling maze of confusion and competing polar opposite interests, (A) should I lose Dead beauch's application to be part of the clinical trial for a new cancer treatment drug and let Dead beauch die out of sheer evil; or (B) should I lose Dead beauch's application to be part of the clinical trial for a new cancer treatment drug and let Dead beauch die out of sheer viciousness?

I go back and forth, forth and back, evil, vicious, evil, vicious, vicious evil, evil viciousness, and on and on until finally I realize …

I realized that I didn't have to act out of evil and I didn't have to act out of viciousness, I could just lose Dead beauch's application to be part of the clinical trial for a new cancer treatment trial JUST BECAUSE I COULD. There was no need for emotion, I could just ACT.

And that's is exactly what I did, I cleared by head of all viciousness and evil (something I never thought possible) and I simply set Dead beauch's application on fire and dumped the ashes in the trash can, simply because I could, without any expression of evil or viciousness.

So you see, Dead beauch didn't just die, I killed her. And, I didn't kill her out of evil or viciousness, I killed her just because I could.

No clinical trial for you beauch, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, I'm so funny!